once again my dreams
and hopes went adrift.
they’re taken by the ripples,
blotted out
and carried away
like
the waters on
a rapid stream,
forever lost
in a swift moment.
the breeze took my faith by force
and drove it away from my reach
i was left with my fears and
inhibitions
…I know it’s
pathetic
how I
constantly
loathe
every bit of
my skin
while I tell
the others
to embrace theirs
nobody’s entitled to cast aspersions on you for doing something you think is right.
nobody has the right to undervalue your worth and impair you with insecurities.
nobody has the authority to break in your walls.. to destroy your delicate, bare soul.
you have every right to take up space.
to feel beautiful. to feel loved. to utter a word. to feel important. to feel comfortable with every part of your skin.
you deserve to be look upon at, like the enchanting traces of lights in the night sky.
you are enough and valued, you have always been.
that moment,
she stood there as if
an unseen, lonely
outsider.
she walked
across the path
in their shadows
for the nth time..
and felt angst, fear
and confusion.
it was maddening.
she hates
being unheard and
it was frustrating
for some reason.
“wouldn’t it better
for me to leave?” she uttered.
and she thought of doing so.
but was coward enough to
take a course of action.
it’s nobody’s fault, after all.
she’s been living like that.
for years.
she’s cold as ice.
a mess, hideous and scarred.
and a coward.
she’s an unexplored
book carelessly
thrown in a corner..
she could’ve been
everyone’s pick
but she’s never
lucky enough
to be chosen. to be cherished.
to be someone’s valuable treasure.
how does it feel to
be understood?
to be one’s favorite?
she let herself to
be kept unread,
but what does she gain?
it was all in vain.
I guess it will never be that easy.
To go back and wander around the places I loved and loathed so I can trace down the paths I used to take.
To have a glimpse of people’s portraits whose vivid visages bring nothing but almost forgotten memories I will always find hard to reminisce.
It will never be easy,
to open all the kept letters and read them as if it was not hard to walk down the memory lane over and over again for the same heartaches.
To constantly think you have never ruined yourself from trying to fix other’s damages while not minding all your unmendable wounds.
It’s cruel of you, luck.
You weren’t there to remind me everything’s short lived.
And that it was always a mistake to leave marks on my track for someone to follow to whilst going astray towards an avoided path.
I never realized I’m off the course until I reached the edge towards my pitfall.
It’s never my intention to keep everything unsaid and leave it on the corner of my head and pretend life’s only bliss.
It will never be easy,
to live inside that hope and to continuously build yourself every tumults aftermaths.
You have to live again.
Not as what you used to be; the shattered, lost one.
And I guess it will never be that easy.
the nights
have been dreary quiet
for quite a long time
gloomy skies,
inkless pens,
and chaotic rhymes—
nothing seems going right
scribbling words
on a torn out paper,
taking a sip from a coffee
that has gone cold
alone with all the blurry thoughts, left unheard in the deafening silence of a world.
a sudden, gentle breeze
enveloped his warmness
his eyes were
full of remorse
as he began reminiscence
alas, how could he
awake himself
from this nightmare?
being a bard
with no good words
to indite
is worse
than dwelling
in a beast’s lair.
the numbing
of his feet
is crescent—
his screams
ate the utter silence
yet no
one had
the desire
to listen.
his gaze found
the tenebrous abyss of ether;
for some reason,
the comforting stars in the
sea of darkness did
not make her feel better.
would it be better to
go away?
is it a sign
of cowardice
for wanting to leave
everything
in disarray?
the effulgent moon with its stars
illuminated each corner
of the room
silence so deafening,
everything was embraced
by gloom
each memory
brought nothing
but agony
how could a man
breathe
while it’s long dead
already?
scribbles